T minus 3 days and counting ...

My heart actually sang a little today!

Which is in stark contrast to the way I felt after Thursday night's rehearsal!

I didn't, nay, couldn't post after Thursday night as I was in a state of animated frustration and dismay as the 300lb Gorilla in my anxiety closet began dismantling the closet and flinging faeces around, helicopter fashion, as I hid myself under the bed!

Twas a storm in a tea-cup (errr - tea barrel?) but getting any kind of disruptive news at this stage of the production is, well, unsettling. So, in an effort to be a 'glass-half-full' guy today I will focus on some positives ... The rehearsal itself went well on Thursday night but by the end of the evening I wasn't in any mood to appreciate it.

Today went even better with only the most minor of stumbles. And I can say today that we have a show! A full uninterrupted run through was a relief and a pleasure to watch - I think I spontaneously smiled several times (actually, I was hiding tears of joy several times as well). 

I honestly feel, as I have always felt deep down, that this is a show that will impress people and impress them in a way that will not require them to engage their pity meters ... you know what it sounds like, "oh well, at least their trying". 

It was also a wonderful honour to the personal dedications I asked the cast to make last week. To explain ...

One of the things I like to do when I direct a show - have I mentioned this? I don't think so - is I get the cast to meditate for a moment and make a dedication of their efforts to a person/people in their lives who have been supportive/inspirational to them. The theory being that it takes the effort of rehearsals and performance out of the narcissistic and into the realm of an offer outside of oneself (to the family, community, world, cosmos) for the work being done. I don't ask the actors who the dedications have gone to but I always mention mine ... My acting mentor Les Shaw and my sister Samantha who passed away within a fortnight of each other in 1996.

Les was a part, in fact the main force behind, The Blue Cow Childrens Theatre that I mentioned in a previous post. As artistic director he prodded, enquired, cajoled, poked, annoyed and inspired performances I could only of dreamed of developing previous to my meeting him. My sister Sam died two weeks before Les due to complications brought on by her alcoholism - she was 28.

One of the nicest stories shared with me about a personal dedication was in a production of Blood Wedding that I directed last year (2007) ... The actor told me that she had dedicated her show to her late husband who had worked as a lighting designer and she knew that he would have loved to have designed a show like Blood Wedding. She had decided that she wanted to share that with me because of the way she felt about the show ... I was touched and teary.

And now I'm tired and vague ... it will most likely be a daily blog from here on in so keep your eyes and ears peeled!

Goodnight.